Top Gunn: Tim for President
No debate about it: It’s time to send America’s most obvious candidate for President down the runway! Skilled fashion master and unlikely cultural icon Tim Gunn would easily stitch up the women’s vote and even hem in a sizeable cut among men.
As mentor and mensch on Project Runway and Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style, this stylish leading light has a devoted following of women who are tired of the same old, same old. They understand that to look good is to feel good. Like fashion, American democracy is personal, and Mr. Gunn can bring it home. He knows how to make women feel exalted, confident and beautiful. His leadership skills, winning personality and exceptional intelligence are a political hat trick that would serve Americans well in the White House.
Running under the Make-It-Work Party, Mr. Gunn could improve on the Hooveresque assurance of “a chicken in every pot” by promising “a wrap dress in every closet.” Mr. Gunn’s first campaign pledge could be a $500 tax credit for every American to upgrade their wardrobes. Public confidence would soar, the sputtering retail economy would get a jumpstart, and Americans could beat out the French and the Italians as the best-dressed citizens in the world. Global competition is sweat(shop)-free in an Armani suit or a Diane VonFurstenberg dress.
By reversing the “slobification of America” (as Mr. Gunn has termed the overly casual dress code of our days), he would strengthen the economy by creating a well-dressed, confident workforce. If “the suit makes the man,” imagine the prosperous America that could emerge with a nation of them.
Instructively, based on the storied “Hemline Theory,” skirt lengths offer an economic forecast. If short skirts are in, the economy is up. Long skirts mean long faces on Wall Street. Mr. Gunn, with his keen eye for style, would have every American woman wearing precisely the right hemline for her. Even hemlines, even economy. After so much economic uncertainty, the outcome would be “delicious” a la Marilyn Monroe, billowing our skirts and our spirits.
Like our Constitutional forebears, Mr. Gunn exemplifies the democratic notion of setting guidelines, then letting the people do their best (or worst). In the Project Runway workroom, he listens to each designer’s plans, sizes up the progress, offers advice, then moves on. He does not hover like a Democrat or reach top-down like a Republican. His Teddy Roosevelt-style maxims – “Make it work” and “Carry on” -- are rally calls for our times.
A native son of Washington, D.C., Mr. Gunn would put the “stately” back into State Dinners and return dignity to the Oval Office. He could establish a 21st century version of the FDR Fireside Chat with an Internet “Gather Round,” retooling the State of the Union for our tech generation.
Mr. Gunn would be a sophisticated representative of our nation with his penchant for natty dress and perfect tailoring. He can appear suitably buttoned-up in pinstripes for tête-à-têtes with dignitaries or stylishly dressed down in a black-on-black turtleneck and leather jacket at Camp David. Mr. Gunn would wow Americans and foreign leaders alike with his wit, charm and enviable vocabulary. What enemy nation wouldn’t cower under his silver tongue? (“Don’t bore Putin!”)
Mr. Gunn even comes with the Presidential campaign must-have – the Cinderella story. According to a 2007 New York Times profile, Mr. Gunn “had been an unhappy child, introverted, a stutterer, spending sunny days in his room reading books, practicing the piano, playing with Legos . . . He was the last one chosen during mandatory team sports – a disappointment to his tight-lipped father, George William Gunn, an assistant director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, who served as the ghostwriter of J. Edgar Hoover.”
Gunn beat the bullies by rising above them (Leadership Quality!). He studied hard, failed as a sculptor (Adversity!), then worked his way up the rungs of fashion academe for nearly 30 years (Perseverance! Dedication! Loyalty!) from the admissions office at Parsons The New School of Design to chair of its famous fashion design department (Success!). In 2007, Mr. Gunn became chief creative officer of Liz Claiborne Inc., one of the nation’s largest apparel companies. He left Parsons to take the newly created job (Decisive!), even though Claiborne has been faltering (Risk-Taker!). As President, Tim Gunn would have our nation well-stitched, well-heeled, and moving fashion-forward in the 21st Century.
A final, important consideration: Vice president. Fashionista Nina Garcia? Accomplished, but too opinionated to ride shotgun. Designer Michael Kors? Talented, but too sassy to keep the veep’s low profile. Ah, supermodel Heidi Klum. With her ability to smile sweetly one second, then spear a scary scowl, she is perfect for the good-cop, bad-cop scenarios of Executive Branch leadership. Imagine the effectiveness of Ms. Klum telling naughty NATO countries, “You’re out.” But is she an American citizen? Ay, there’s the rub, but her star dazzle could outshine the naysayers.
As we now know, unconventional VP choices can win the day. With a Gunn-Klum ticket, the future of the United States is all sewn up.
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